The book's cover promised a story full of alien love but did not fulfill any of its promises. The hype is this: "Mia Adams is loved by extraterrestrials and romanced by a U.S. government agent." Halfway through the book, the reader finally learns that Mia's alien lover is named Zarg and she contacts him through a Ouija board! We have not played with a Ouija board since college days. Give us a break, Mia!

Mia's story begins with her running a classified ad in a local metaphysical newspaper soliciting people claiming contact with E.T.'s. Mia wastes several years of her life communicating with Corey, a prison inmate who guess what -- sends her top secret UFO files about military collusion with the Aliens!

Whoa, wait a minute there. Now how did a prisoner get his hands on top secret UFO files from a jail cell to mail to her? Duh. Later Corey wants to mail her the TV from his prison cell as a personal gift. Come again? A TV from prison? We don't think so.

Then get this. Mia doesn't work while married or after she gets divorced. Yet she has this unlimited travel budget to visit every country on Earth whenever she feels like it. Sort of like the TV show I Dream of Jeannie from the sixties!

Mia seeks meaning in every silly thing in her life ad nauseum and believes everything has a Jungian coincidence. She turns every coincidence into a fact of science. She forgot that "coincidence" doesn't mean "correlation."

Here are two examples: Mia takes a quick jaunt to Alaska and visits a gift shop. She notices that a tag on a statue in the store has the same last name as her own -- uh oh, spooky. Then she is doubly overwhelmed to discover the store is located on a street which happens to be the same as her last name. Spooky. Spooky. Go for it Mia!

Then, at a UFO meeting in England, Mia is astonished to learn she is sitting next to the author of a book that her boyfriend had previously read. Small world, eh? She is so overwhelmed by this coincidence that she stands up in front of the audience and tells them about this amazing coincidence. How embarrassing!

Mia tries hard to prove to us she is an abductee. Get ready for her "proof." She recalls walking away from a family reunion when she was a child and a kind stranger brought her back. But Mia says she was abducted because her parents didn't notice she was gone. Like every parent knows where their kids are every moment? Earth to Mia. Come in Mia.

Mia's other proof that she was abducted happened when she was a college student. She and a girlfriend went out with some young men. When one of the men stole the tires off a nearby vehicle, Mia was so panicked by his behavior that she felt this had to be an abduction experience because she was so terrified. Abducted? No, try fear of being arrested!