The book's cover promised a story full of alien love but did not fulfill any of its promises. The hype is this: "Mia Adams is loved by
extraterrestrials and romanced by a U.S. government agent."
Halfway through the book, the reader finally learns that Mia's
alien lover is named Zarg and she contacts him through
a Ouija board! We have not played with a Ouija board since college days.
Give us a break, Mia!
Mia's story begins with her
running a classified ad in a local metaphysical newspaper
soliciting people claiming contact with E.T.'s. Mia wastes
several years of her life communicating with Corey, a prison
inmate who guess what -- sends her top secret UFO files
about military collusion with the Aliens!
Whoa, wait a minute there. Now how did a prisoner get his
hands on top secret UFO files from a jail cell to mail to her?
Duh. Later Corey wants to mail her the TV from his prison cell as
a personal gift. Come again? A TV from prison? We don't think so.
Then get this. Mia doesn't work while married or after she
gets divorced. Yet she has this unlimited travel budget to visit
every country on Earth whenever she feels like it. Sort of like
the TV show I Dream of Jeannie from the
Mia seeks meaning in every silly thing in her life ad
nauseum and believes everything has a Jungian coincidence.
She turns every coincidence into a fact of science. She forgot
that "coincidence" doesn't mean
Here are two examples: Mia takes a quick jaunt to Alaska and
visits a gift shop. She notices that a tag on a statue in the
store has the same last name as her own -- uh oh, spooky. Then
she is doubly overwhelmed to discover the store is located on a
street which happens to be the same as her last name. Spooky.
Spooky. Go for it Mia!
Then, at a UFO meeting in England, Mia is
astonished to learn she is sitting next to the author of a book
that her boyfriend had previously read. Small world, eh? She is
so overwhelmed by this coincidence that she stands up in front of
the audience and tells them about this amazing coincidence. How
Mia tries hard to prove to us she is an abductee. Get ready
for her "proof." She recalls walking away from a family
reunion when she was a child and a kind stranger brought her
back. But Mia says she was abducted because her parents didn't
notice she was gone. Like every parent knows where their kids are
every moment? Earth to Mia. Come in Mia.
Mia's other proof that she was abducted happened when she was
a college student. She and a girlfriend went out with some young
men. When one of the men stole the tires off a nearby vehicle,
Mia was so panicked by his behavior that she felt this had to be
an abduction experience because she was so terrified. Abducted?
No, try fear of being arrested!
This book wins AAER's Little Green Man Award for being so detrimental to the study of alien
abduction, that only Disinfo Agents from AFOSI could love this book which makes abductees sound like wackos.
Finally, halfway through the story, the reader gets to Mia's
Alice-in-Wonderland romance with an FBI government agent named
Jordan. Throughout their goofy relationship, Mia discovers that
Jordan lied about everything. No kidding.
Mia eventually realizes
Jordan is a married man with a wife and three children. Mia also
believed Jordan when he said he was her same age. Later she
learned he was twenty years younger. Mia couldn't tell the man
was twenty years younger by looking at him. Gullible, isn't she?
Here's another unbelievable whopper: Jordan brings UFO files
from work marked top secret. Jordan tells her he finds them on
his desk every morning. Holy Batman, how does he do that? But of
course Mia believes Jordan because he says it is true. The
reports tell how big and powerful the U.S. government is and they
are working hand-in-hand alongside the aliens. The Dynamic Duo,
Then, after it looks like Jordan couldn't find anything else
to lie about, he surprises us! He tells Mia that he is her
extraterrestrial son. Then Mia is tormented with Biblical sin. Is
she guilty of incest? She begins thinking of Jordan's children as
Then Mia, scientific person that she is--NOT, decides to seek
the truth. How you might ask? Of course. She asks the Ouija board
if it is true, and Zarg said it is. Well, Zarg should know. At
the end of her tainted relationship with Jordan, he mails her his
top secret report confirming all the other reports he brought
her. Like one big lie proves a bunch of little lies.
Near the end of the book, which thankfully put us out of our
misery, Mia had pictures to look at. We like to look at other people's pictures. These were
pictures of her photographic evidence.
One picture was taken in
Egypt at an alter. After the photo was developed, it had a white
spot on it. A white spot on the alter. Hmm. Now what significance could Mia give a white
spot on a counter? She called the spot a cosmic enersphere. Since
she couldn't explain the spot, she gave it a name.
This book should never have been written or published as a serious book on alien abduction.
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