Was it a dream? That’s what I want to know.

It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about this, but watching something on TV reminded me and I went looking on the ‘net to see if anyone else had had similar experiences.  Seems they have.

At the age of 13 I had an extremely vivid ‘dream’ of alien abduction.  In my ‘dream’ I woke up in a wedge-shaped room.  I was lying on my back on a curved, padded bench which followed the outer curve of the wall.  I remember the colour scheme was 70s brown & beige and I brushed aside the curtains and saw the ocean arcing away beneath me at an impossible angle (I was standing upright but the angle of the room to the ground was around 45 degrees and moving swiftly).  We were over the bay near where I lived and I recognised the lights of the port and ships beneath the craft.

Then a blonde guy came into the room – or was suddenly just sitting on a chair beside the makeshift bed.  I don’t remember which.  He was very good looking, longish blonde hair to his shoulders and had blue (or gold?) eyes.  I remember feeling euphoric seeing him, and he looked amused.  It was almost as if I was in love with him.  I’d have done anything for him.  He talked to me in a low voice for quite a while but I only remember the gist of it – which sounds REALLY corny and embarrasses me to repeat it, but basically he said the earth was dying and they were creating another planet where some of us humans could start again.  Then he said I was to be a ‘guardian’ for animals – I think that’s what he said – when he sent me back.

Then there was a short grey alien creature with the huge eyes – you know the ones, and it led me out of the room into the centre of the craft, which had a control room.  The craft then piloted to a much larger craft.  I then next remember being on board.  The blonde guy was showing me the interior of this much larger craft.  There were very tall creatures, pale with bony crests down their backs.  They didn’t speak and seemed to be communicating telepathically.  I got the impression they were incredibly strong.  They were leading naked humans after them.

There were a few of the short, grey aliens but not many.  They gave off an air of annoyance and hostility where the tall ones just ignored me.

That’s all I remember.  To me, it was just a dream that left me euphoric and yearning to leave my home, as probably plenty of teenagers did.  Until one day, maybe a year later I was in a book store and saw the Communion display.

I walked out of the shop.  I was shaking.  I felt sick.  I walked back into the shop.  I bought the book.  I pulled the cover open and started reading, feeling shocked and scared.  Up until this point, I hadn’t been exposed to the ideas of greys and nordics or any other alien stuff.  I wasn’t interested, I was busy being prepubescent.  My parents hadn’t even let me watch Close Encounters at that point although I’m sure they’d discussed aliens at some point with family friends who were interested in science and the stars, and probably within my hearing.  But the image on the cover of that book – was SO vivid, so familiar.

As I read the book I got more and more terrified.  I hadn’t had any of Whitley’s terrifying experiences – I’d felt completely loved up when I’d been in my dream, but it had been so vivid – the most vivid dream I’ve ever had, that when I woke after it, I actually wrote in my diary – ‘A dream?’.  But of course, being a pretty sensible person, I left it at that – at the time.

So, now, I read his book and from that point on, I lived in fear.  One day, I tore the cover off the book and threw it away, as I couldn’t bear to have it in my room, but I couldn’t throw the book away.  I felt as if it was a connection with something strange that may have happened to me.

Maybe it was real, maybe it wasn’t.  But as I read, and as I saw the news articles which started to appear around the same time, I really did start to wonder if it’d been real.  The sensations in the dream were to visceral – I remember so clearly how it felt to swing over the ocean but feel no momentum.  How it felt to be in the presence of the blonde guy and his amused expression.

I will never decide if it was real or not.  I would prefer that it wasn’t.  I haven’t searched for implants, although I’ve had some other strange experiences, most of which are likely anxiety related.  I saw a counselor for a while after I read the book, but I was scared to talk about what was really bothering me.   Driving down stretches of lonely roads at night left me feeling sick and desolate.

I don’t know if it’s just a memetic phenomenon, whether we’re all imagining it to make our lives more interesting or the stories just get absorbed and lived out in our dreams as we go about our business but I do know that my story isn’t unusual or unique and to this day I wonder what the truth of it is.

Addendum:  There were also some strange marks on my back for years afterwards, pale dots in the shape of a triangle on my lower back.  I think they eventually faded.  They were like raised patches of skin without pigment.  Like scar tissue.

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