It all started with flashbacks,i was just cleaning the stairs when the first flashback came!There were 4 to 5 in all.At first i thought it was some kind of procedure i did at hospital and i was surprised that i gave my consent,but then i realized that no such procedure exists,as a former nurse i should have realized from the start.But alien abduction was never really on my mind,but now i feel there cannot be any other explanation.

I also suffer from cfs/m.e for the past 20 yrs,now there are millions of us world wide,scientist have not been able to find one single test to detect it,let alone a cure,most of us are incapacitated,house bound, unable to live a normal life.I cannot help but wonder if some thing sinister is going on!!

About tess

former nurse suffers from cfs,for the past 20 yrs............flashback memories.......told 2 persons who do not believe me.......think i am going crazy ,perhaps i am !!!
This entry was posted in Alien Abduction, Conspiracy Theories. Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to flashbacks

  1. tess says:

    Hi,me again unfortunately these past few days i have been unable to sleep well,cause of the strange voices and sounds that seem to came from behind my pillow.Yesterday i saw the black big spider again,it had been a while since i saw it last and it really scares me,i open my eyes and it would be there on the pillow or mattress.It feels like it is looking at me then it turns around and disappear behind some thing.In Malta we do not have any big spiders,so i do not know what it is or its meaning,perhaps i should increase my medication all this is driving me nuts and i am at a loss as
    what to do.take care love tess.
    P.Si do think that the picture i drew did end up on mars!

  2. tess says:

    I will try to send a picture i drew of what ever i was on,as i do not know how to post it here.I hope that the address i will use is the right one and it does not end up on mars instead!love Tess

  3. tess says:

    Hi Buffalo spirit,hi Geoff, i hope you don’t mind that i write to you both in the same e-mail,but some how i feel that the 3 of us have so much in common,we are all in our 40s and had the same dreams as children while living thousands of miles apart.

    I have so many questions to ask,why us?what is the purpose of the dreams we had? I don’t know about you but i am nothing!The only thing i have is a medical back ground,having gone to nursing school that is all.I never even gave much thought about aliens,i wasn’t even sure they existed.Well they made sure i change my opinion on that!

    Will the world be destroyed by an asteroid?what about all this stuff about 2012,what is your opinion. ?I feel so confused suddenly i cannot remember what i needed to wtite down,wnat the hell is happening pls will write again when i feeel better take care

  4. Geoff says:

    Hi Tess,

    Interesting questions and I think everyone will have different ideas why people have dreams about disasters, or shown a disaster during an encounter. I view the future in possibilities because it’s not set in stone, I believe the whole idea is to make us become aware and hopefully change. Everything changes in time and that’s not always a bad thing…

    I have heard of a few cases were people had physical ill effects from an encounter, but that may be a small percentage, given that the amount of people being visited may be quite high. In regards to your headaches and seizures, maybe on some level of awareness you know the answer, sometimes the answers come when in a meditative state of mind, you could ask yourself and see what happens and how it feels for you.

    This happened a long time ago when I was in my early 20’s, I’m now 42. I damaged my back at work and had continuing lower back pain, then one night I had a dream, I was lying on my side on a table in the examination room. Two Greys were behind me and I could feel them doing something to my lower back, I felt relaxed and out of curiosity I moved one hand to my lower back only to feel a hand push it away. The thing is my back felt fine after that dream and I doubt it was a coincidence, there may be two sides to physical effects from encounters.

    I wasn’t always comfortable with my encounters, like many people I was frightened and didn’t understand what was happening, even though there were some memories of feeling comfortable with them I was still frightened, fear is a powerful emotion. There was also a lot of self doubt, I was open to UFO’s and could accept that people had encounters, but to believe it was happening to me was another story. After around 8 years I had an experience where I felt a deep connection with the Greys and everything changed in one day, in the end it was me and my perception of them that changed. I have met and heard of others that have lived with the fear and eventually found peace with it, but also know that a lot of people are frightened.

    I think my articles are still on the internet and could link or email them if you want to know more about my experiences. I wrote them 10 years ago and they are brief, I would write it differently today.

    Sometimes I think there may be more to us not remembering then being told not to by aliens, there have been reports of children who have a trauma and don’t remember at the time, then the memory starts when they are older and able to cope, it seems that there is a part of our self that can decide what we remember and I often think that may be a factor.

  5. buffalospirit says:

    Dear Tess,
    I am 48 and the first dream (the one with the ball of fire coming from the sky) occured when I was about 5. This would have been about 1966 or so. We did not watch much tv nor was there much on tv to watch in those days! So I agree with you that some of the ideas for pictures or dreams that today’s youth might get from movies most likely didn’t exist back then for us. And it is strange that children living far apart (I live in the Western United States) would have similar dreams of disaster. As far as my experiences go as an abductee, I am much more occluded that you are, Tess. I really don’t have any definite memory of a Grey or any other alien taking me nor do I have any painful memories like you have. I do have vague, foggy memories of what I strongly feel are Greys as well as human-looking aliens (Nordics?) but nothing definitive. I am thankful for that and perhaps because you do have the flashbacks, this is what is opening up the problems that you are experiencing physically. Maybe you are more aware than I am because you have been able to break the “silence” that the aliens impose upon many of us to forget and not remember. I do feel frustration at not having answers and I somewhat accept the abduction experiences as something that we can’t do much about – so I just go along with it. I think that if I had the flashbacks and memories that you have, I would be much more terrified and expressing dread at their continuing visits. Maybe others here like Sgt. Frost can provide more thoughts or opinions?

  6. tess says:

    Hi Geoff,buffalo spirit,how came 3 children living thousands of miles from each other experience the same dreams?Is there a reason why it happened?I can understand that now people have similar dreams,but now they saw Armageddon,independence day,the day after and more!Yet we had nothing of the sort,so what fueled our imagination?Where we taught about them with out us being aware and how many more children where there?So many questions and so little answers.

    I have realized that since the flashbacks i am getting seizures after headaches,i do not know if it is related or else has nothing to do with it,but is caused by some thing different altogether.The first time it happened was months ago,the headache was agonizing and i had involuntary movements of my upper and lower limbs,there was nothing my husband could do except hold me,it lasted 6 bloody hrs.It was the psychiatrist who told me that it was a seizure a rare type when the person is fully conscious,last week i had another one,but this time i was not fully conscious and it affected my whole body and i was alone.

    I wonder if it is related because when i was abducted maybe 3 or 4 pins were inserted in the exact position on the right and left side,two in my skull,whether they were inserted and taken out or left there i have no way of knowing,in the flash back the last thing i remembered was me screaming as the pain was excruciating.

    I think i have been to stupid to realize that these were alien encounters and had nothing to do with ghosts,i had refused to believe they were real and preferred to think they were hallucinations.I don’t believe in ghosts after all,the possibility that there is another life after this one feels me with dread.

    I ask you how come you are not afraid and willing to see them again?Why the trust?Maybe they have not hurt you before and came back safe and sound,but how can you be sure that the same thing can happen again!If i recall correctly both of you where abducted by grays,while i said the once i saw were very human like,perhaps grays do not hurt their abduct-es ?What was the purpose of the grays taking you,do you have any idea?

    Forgive me for all these questions,but although we all have been abducted it seems my experience was so different from yours and i do wish to know your experience to the last detail if that is possibly.At times when i go to sleep i hear a voice calling my name and then speaking with a language i do not understand.Well best stop,take care both of you love Tess.

  7. buffalospirit says:

    HI Geoff – yes, it’s interesting how many seem to have had the disaster dreams, particularly as children. I think you are correct in saying that perhaps the purpose is to get people about change. I don’t know about you or others, but I sometimes do feel frustrated that the majority on this planet cannot see the bad direction we are headed overall with war, pollution, starvation, global warming, etc. I guess it’s because we “know” about the impending disasters to come! Your experience with the “big” thing outside is a bit frightening – wow! Like you just knew there was something out there! The paranormal activity, I have read, is common among abductees and it’s often hard to distinguish between ghosts/spiritual activity versus alien, in my opinion. I have a fear of looking around in the dark at night because I might see little beings – I don’t recall seeing them like you have at the foot of your bed, but I just have a fear that I will. As a child, my family and I often saw balls of lights that had electrical buzzing sounds associated with them flying around or through a room. We attributed those to ghosts.
    Speaking of electricity, I like hearing that you also have a similar sensation in your whole body. I really feel that this is all connected and has to do with energy flowing through not only our bodies but the energy that is all around us. Energy cannot be created nor destroyed is the apparent law! I have not tried consciously visiting ETs – perhaps because I am/was leary, but now that you have proposed it, I will try it and let you know if something happens!

  8. Geoff says:

    Hi BuffaloSpirit,

    It’s interesting to hear that you too had a dream about a disaster, seems to be a common theme in encounters. When I was younger I also had dreams of water rushing in from the coast and it wasn’t until later that I had a memory of being shown a disaster on a screen, I see things in possibilities and although there seems to be preparations, maybe the idea is to get people to change.

    When I was very young I used to have powerful dreams about something that was outside my house, it felt like something big and I would be quite and still so I wouldn’t draw it’s attention, but it always felt as though it knew I was there and was coming for me. I also used to think I was being visited by ghosts or spirits and when I was 13 saw two small beings standing at the foot of my bed, at the time it was the only thing I thought it could be.

    You mentioned the tingling sensation and I often get that, occasionally in the whole body, especially if a being comes close on an energetic level. With the visions or remote viewing, have you tried consciously visiting ET’s, they seem to be aware and on one occasion I was visited by a being straight away.

    I agree with your thoughts that we are a bit more open-minded than the rest of the population of this planet and are perhaps richer for the experience.

  9. tess says:

    Hi buffalo spirit,so grateful that you wrote back,yes it is a pity that we cannot talk about this,but at least we have each other and the rest of the members who understand and do not think we are crazy!

    I went to a psychiatrist 12 yrs ago mainly cause i was suffering from depression,i knew i had to quit my job as a nurse and it came as a hard blow.i was send to an exorcist cause the psychiatrist has become suspicious that what we taught were hallucinations might be real.

    I did try to find sites here in malta but came to a dead end.I have never really given it much thought about whether aliens exists or not,that is not until what i have been through.

    Pls keep in contact take care,Tess

  10. buffalospirit says:

    Hi Tess,
    Nice to hear from you and thanks for sharing your email address … I will drop you a message there, too. But on this site, I wanted to respond to your latest message: regarding psychiatrists, I don’t trust them. They are only trained to prescribe drugs (like most medical people) and don’t want to really find the actual cause or reason for something. There are some psychiatrists, however, that do believe in alien intervention and if you could find someone like that, it would benefit you a lot. How to find one, however, I would not know. I am not sure if MUFON (Mutual UFO Network) has chapters internationally, but they have them here in the US and they can sometimes direct you to a professional who will help you and not laugh at you or send you to an excorcist. Now don’t get me wrong, I also believe in evil spirits and no doubt, an exorcist might be needed for certain situations. As far as CFS goes, I hope they will find a cure. If it’s caused by a virus, it might be difficult to contain (as I believe most viruses are as opposed to bacteria)… anyway, keep up on your research and hopefully you will come across something that might provide you with some relief. Finally, it’s too bad that we have to feel like this is the only place where we can discuss these types of things. My entire life, I have always been fascinated with knowing the truth about life – I can’t understand how some people can think that life is actually so black and white – that we are born, work 60 odd years, watch tv, then just die. No, there is more to it than that. UFOs have been a part of my belief system for as long as I can remember – it was always just a part of what I believe to be real and I have no problem with it. So in some ways, I feel we are a bit more open-minded than the rest of the population of this planet and are perhaps richer for the experience. I pity the person who only believes that his or sole purpose is to get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, go to work, have dinner, and then go to sleep – and just do this over and over until death comes. How sad.

  11. tess says:

    Hi Buffalo spirit,thanks for replying,that is the reason i want to communicate,because others who have gone through similar experiences can understand and don’t laugh their heads off when i say i believe i have been abducted.

    When i first realized what had happened i was stupid enough to tell my husband and psychologist,they both thought i had lost it big time.My husband did not ask any questions ,just told me not to be stupid.On the other hand,my psychologist asked one hundred and one questions not because he believed but to analyze.I was infuriated when he asked if i thought they were interested in my genital area! of course they were not.Did he think that this was some thing sexual for me?So after,i told him that perhaps i was not thinking straight and such things cannot be real.I said that so i would get him of my back,i was not going to get anywhere with this guy,i did the mistake of mention it to him.But since i am housebound i did not have any one to talk too and be believed,at least i found this site.

    It is so strange that when we were children we dreamed such things and did not even know the true meaning,i am in my 40 s and at that time we did not get to see the films they do now,it seems i had already seen them before they were ever made!

    I was send to an exorcist because of what i see and hear,i don’t suppose my psychiatrist believes in aliens either and i sure am not going to ask! The voice speaking in a language i do not understand really bugs me off.or the whooshing sound i hear,i get up and start looking half expecting to see some great bug,there are no great bugs here in malta to start with.

    It seems that there has been a break through, a retro virus found in mice may be the culprit,as to know there are 14 millions word wide,unbelievable.Well best stop,take care and do write back when you can,Tess…PS my e-mail is mtbugeja@yahoo.co.uk

  12. buffalospirit says:

    Hi Tess,
    I am still on planet earth … but just got a bit sidetracked by work issues these past few weeks.
    I hope you are feeling better and that you will keep hope in your life. Though not all of us are suffering from CFS as you are, we do have the alien experience in common so I hope you don’t feel like you are alone. I used to have dreams, as a child, quite frequently of disasters that would be so real and so frightening. In one dream, I was in an empty room except for one chair and I was looking at a screen or a “window” on the wall that showed a … get this … BIG BALL OF ORANGE LIGHT (or fire?)… coming down from the sky and then it hits the earth and then everything is on fire … I remember running from the room in my dream and then I found myself in my home (in my dream, of course) and as I looked out of the windows of my home, there were just flames in the distance everywhere – not like a forest fire, but like a massive, apocalyptic scene that went from the ground up to the sky. I was alone in my dream. In other dreams, I have seen mountains of water come rushing down to destroy small towns or big cities. Lots of water/flood disaster dreams. I have also had dreams of mountains that came crumbling down onto cities – but nothing recognizable as any city that I would be able to name. Anyway, those were my dreams as a child. Growing up, my family was experiencing lots of paranormal stuff – and things like electrical equipment turning on and off were part of it. As I got older, I started to experience street lights going out when I walk by (which continues to this day). My “psychic” abilities seem to get stronger as I get older – Geoff said he has had experiences perhaps similar to Remote Viewing and I get that a lot, too. I almost always have a tingling sensation on the top of my head almost like electricity is coming up out of my skull! (or at least that is what I imagine it might be!) … I always know when something is going to happen before it does – just “knowing” things is sometimes scary to the point that I sometimes feel like I don’t want to think because I am afraid of what will happen from my thoughts! When I was in my early 20s, I would often get an urge to drive out to a remote place in the desert about 1 1/2 hours from my home – always at dusk or at nights. It was an area that missile testing was being done … to this day, I will still get an urge or a thought about that location but since I now live almost 1,000 miles away, I can’t do that anymore! šŸ™‚ I like to walk around at night and I usually do my walking after 10 p.m. and I like to pick walking routes that are secluded – not sure if that means anything. Anyway, I think it is great that we can share these things here – things I can’t share with anyone else. By the way, I agree that you don’t need an exorcist. I hope that by using this site, you will be able to feel better and come to better terms with what you are dealing with.
    Take Care!

  13. Geoff says:

    Hi Tess,

    I emailed you but it came back undelivered, my email is angelstar777@yahoo.com.au and I’m happy to stay in contact.

    People can sense when they are going to be visited and sometimes wake up and meet them, I have had some memories that are similar.

    There is an interesting post in this forum http://www.abduct.com/discussion/?p=228#comments

    Take care…

  14. tess says:

    Hi JohnSmith9438,thanks for your e-mail,sorry if perhaps i upset you.I did have hope once upon a time but its gone now,20 yrs have been a long time.You would not believe what is happening with regards to this illness,any promising findings are being withhold from publication by the CDC.

    I have to grown up children,they still live with us,i love them very much and have waited yrs cause they were still toddlers when i first got ill.To-day i know that when and if the time came, one would think of nothing,i know cause i have been there.

    A strange calmness came upon me,thinking to-day is a good day to die,that simple.Any thing about the aliens?Thanks for wanting to be my friend,i appreciate your kindness,take care Tess.

  15. JohnSmith9438 says:

    My God Tess . . .You must try to keep up your spirits! People care about you. Think of your husband. Perhaps something will be discovered about your illness and you could live a life of some happiness! Hope must be your friend now

  16. tess says:

    Hi Geoff,i wish it was that straight forward no diet can help,in fact nothing cures this illness.For a while it seemed that a publication was about to came out,about cfs/m.e and a retro virus but the CDC has stopped it again reasons unknown.From the start i have always written to these sites of cfs/m.e that some thing sinister is going on.Can you imagine 14 million word wide who most of them cant go on with their lives,persons of all ages.Some times i think what would happen if a catastrophe happened to the world,we will be the first to die,for only the strongest would survive!

    If i had your e-mail address i could send you literature that i receive,mine is mt bugeja@yahoo.co.uk,so if you want to keep in contact by e-mail,i would be more then happy too.

    I did try to find maltese sites about ufo discussions with out any results,how strange that persons from different parts of the world have been having the same dreams.It is interesting about the lights going off when you are emotional,i wonder what causes it?your state of mind?

    Thanks for answering back to some one who live thousands of miles away and a total stranger.One last thing,did you ever feel the urge during the night of going outside for they are waiting? I do ,but i try to resist it for it frightens me.Do take care love Tess.

  17. Geoff says:

    Hi Tess,

    I don’t know much about chronic fatigue although I heard that diet can help some people, but it sounds as though you may have already looked into all the possibilities.

    It is interesting to hear about your dreams, especially because you were seeing things like the statue of liberty and didn’t realise what it was until older. I met a lady a while ago who also had a dream about water flooding the coast of Australia and recently read someone’s dreams about the same thing but in another country, it is curious and I wonder how common it is…

    After I entered my last reply I realised that it wasn’t accurate and I was unable to edit it. I meant to say – I noticed when Iā€™m agitated or emotional I sometimes have an affect on my house lights, they are more likely to go when I’m emotional.



  18. tess says:

    Hi Geoff,so thanks for answering back,i really appreciate it.There is no one i can speak to about all this,my psychiatrist send me to an exorcist!! not much help i am not possessed.

    The dreams i had as a child are really strange because a little girl from a small village,did not even know that asteroid existed,we have our own language and there is not even a word for it!What i saw in my dreams was a big ball of fire falling from the sky and then darkness when there was suppose to be daylight,i would look at the sky and the sense of doom i felt was inc readable.

    Another dream was seeing every were flooded with see water.This is even stranger,i saw a place unknown to me then,it too was flooded with sea water i saw a statue half submerged and strange blocks in the distance,when i woke up i thought it must have been a statue of the holy Mary only yrs later did i see a picture of what it truly was.It was the statue of liberty and the strange blocks were sky scrapers!

    The last thing is ,i some times can see the future.I do not say ok let me see what is going to happen,it just comes to me and from experience i have found out that no matter what one does it will still happen,the only thing is that one can lower the impact on you cause you know, that is all.

    Some months ago i took an overdose,i am fed up living like this.My husband came home unexpectedly and saw the suicide note,i was already unconscious ,any way i ended in intensive care and still breathing!!

    About my illness,they estimate that there are about 14 million world wide.A documentary will be out soon in America.Some doctors in the1980 realized that some thing was seriously wrong they asked for help but it fell on deaf ears.Now the scientists think it is a retro virus,like aids and it can be transmitted through body fluids although i find that hard to believe,how came my husband never got infected in the past 20 yrs!The scary part is that no one is immune and any one can get it.

    Best stop, do take care love Tess.

  19. Geoff says:

    Hi Tess,

    I’m still on this planet… although sometimes I feel as though home is somewhere else… but that’s another story….

    Hope you are keeping well, sounds difficult to have on going chronic fatigue and I heard it can be quite debilitating.

    It has often been said that people who have encounters are more psychic and it can also manifest in different ways, I look at these abilities as natural and just that some are more aware then others, I have often felt more aware while having an encounter and also afterwards. It’s interesting to hear about you and other people affecting lights and picking up peoples thoughts, I found that if I’m agitated or emotional I affect lights and also that’s when other things seem to breakdown, but that is rare. I’m probably more empathic and there have been times when I sense peoples emotions and thoughts, I also had spontaneous visions of other places and people and probably similar to Remote Viewing, sometimes I seem to know what is going to happen.

    I found your dream interesting and similar to what I had seen, a Grey showed me a screen on a wall and there was an asteroid travelling through space, entering the atmosphere and impacting in the Atlantic Ocean near the Canary Islands, the waves went around the world. Then I was shown the aftermath and feeling of sadness or loss and that it had come to this. I prefer to look at it as possibilities and maybe the idea is to get us to change…

    Have you thought about seeing someone local who is open and has an interest in these type of experiences?


  20. tess says:

    hi buffalospirit, Geoff,stevek 1950,Tess here are you still on planet earth???

  21. tess says:

    I once read that those that suffer from certain symptoms,including cfs,may indicate alien abduction.I do not know if that is real,cause if it is then millions have and are being abducted!! As it happened to-day i received a very promising e-mail where scientists are sure that it is a retrovirus,very much like Aids.

    The transmission is not yet fully known,for example it is not sexual transmitted.I just hope that this is not what shall i say, a false alarm?That the scientists will not be stopped from publishing their finds as has happened in the past,if there findings are correct,they will start with the same Aids medication,as in Aids it is also a retro virus and they go about destroying the body in the same way.

    But wait,this is all very different.The aids virus render the immune system incapable of fighting off infections,while in cfs it is a different story altogether!CFS rarely kills,it just render the sufferer incapable of living a normal life and i never read anything about brain fog in Aids,just don’t know what to think any more,so many questions and so little answers.

    I was reading a book about hallucinations ,a chapter that dealt with what is real or illusion.Out of the blue i saw the very first flash back i had much more clearly,it seems what ever i was on was like a table i have never seen.I had previously thought that it was like an operating table,probably because that was what my mind could conjure ,not some thing i have never seen! If i could i can draw it but i do not know how to send it,silly me.

    This is all true,when i was a child i was able to do paranormal things like switching on and off the lights,or the television set.I was able to know the thoughts of others,but as i grew up they began to wane,the only thing left is that i still can up to a certain extent pick up other persons thoughts.There where also the dreams,as a child i use to dream of seeing a ball of fire coming down from the sky i did not understand back then what it could be,the word asteroid was unknown on this small island,not to mention that English is a second language to me.

    I must stop getting tired,pls right back,i can never say all this to any one.Just one last thing,having been seeing the psychiatrist for the past 12 yrs,she has now send me to an exorcist,take care,Tess.

  22. buffalospirit says:

    Tess, so sorry to hear – sounds awful! I have some of the symptoms you describe, but nothing near what I would call debilitating as I can still function well (thankfully) on a daily basis and hold down a busy schedule. I wonder if what you have is tied in with the alien abductions – stress related or something that your body is reacting against?

  23. tess says:

    Hi buffalospirit, you asked what is cfs/m.e? to tell you all i would need a book!but i will give you some information.First of all i got this illness 20 yrs ago,its symptoms are many, but the most prominent is the extreme fatigue.There is no single medical test to show that one has this illness,some countries use the name cfs,while others m.e.there is no cure.

    Back in those days,scientists and doctors thought that it was all in the minds of the sufferers and they treated it as depression.Those inflicted had a hard time trying to convince them otherwise,after many yrs the WHO defined it as a physical illness.yrs after, it has been found that a retro virus may be the culprit,though at this stage nothing is for sure,many countries have recently prohibited person with m.e to be blood donors as it may be transmitted by body fluids,there are millions word wide,most have became housebound ,this illness takes every thing from you ,many cannot even work.i was a nurse once upon a time.

    Finally doctors are taking notice,some thing is wrong but there is nothing they can do,except alleviate some of the symptoms like muscle and joint pains.There are more symptoms,but one of the worse is what they call brain fog,you see when the fatigue reach a certain peak the sufferer is unable to think ,can hardly talk,cannot bear sounds or light.Only rest can bring some comfort.

    A documentary is coming out soon both in America and England.No one is immune ,there are children who are unable to walk let alone do the things kids do,there are doctors ,nurses ,teachers the list is endless.Every story is the same be it from some one living in America to some one living in India.M.E is real,there are scientist who have known this yet all this has been hushed up. Independent labs who are doing their best to find what is happening are forced not to publish their findings,stopped by those higher up in government why?

    It is only those who truly want to help and the fact that sufferer from all over the world have got together through the internet and have been able to raise their voices to put pressure on the governments demanding a cure.If nothing is done the next generations will be inflicted with this curse.Few have died directly from it,the suicide rate is high for it seems that only dead can revile us from this illness.TESS.

  24. buffalospirit says:

    What is CFS/m.e.?

  25. tess says:

    I have been seeing a psychiatrist for nearly 12 yrs,the last time i saw him i told him this story.I was sleeping on a mattress near my niece who is 5 yrs old and was sleeping on another mattress in a cool room as it gets really hot upstairs.Suddenly the end of my mattress be cane to go up and down,i tried to hold it with my feet,then it stopped i looked around and saw nothing i always sleep with a night lamp in the other room.I got up to make a cup of tea and have a smoke,then i saw my niece coming,her eyes were wide open.I asked her what was wrong but she just asked me if i could hold her hand when we go back to sleep,next morning i asked her why she woke up and she told me she saw something moving my mattress and it was going up and down!The psychiatrist send me to an exorcist,as he told me this may not be hallucinations after all.The priest prayed ,but what ever it was is back,only to-day i heard the voice and strange language again.Could they be the aliens? What do they want?

    Geoff,the tall alien with straw ,blond hair had vertical pupils.I only feel safe talking about all this on this site,if i speak out i will risk being admitted to a mental asylum.

    Another thing my son who is 22,one day about 2 yrs ago i was talking to him and i thought he had dirt on his forehead,he told me don’t be silly that is part of the skull protruding,i touched it and was horrified to find it was true, then he told me to touch the back of his skull at the lower end and it too was protruding,it does not show because of his hair.He is a graduate from university,at 14 yrs old he invented his own program,he is a web designer and never have studied computers,he took to it like a duck to water!! take care Geoff,thanks for writing to me,now i can understand that i am not alone,Tess

  26. Geoff says:

    Hi Tess,

    I am new to this forum and reading your post reminds me of what it was like to start having memories.

    When I was 21 I started having really powerful nightmares of Greys in my bedroom and also being on a craft etc, I was open to the possibility of UFOs, but to believe I was being visited was very difficult to accept, I thought I was loosing my mind. Some memories were of lying on a table and unable to more except for my eyes, some involved a small device a Grey was holding, it was a needle at one end and a small thin rectangular box on the other, total length was only a few inches. Like many people whom start to have memories I was frightened, even though I also had memories of talking to them and feeling ok – I didn’t know what was happening and my fear of sleeping increased. There were also times Greys would appear in a translucent or spiritual form while I was awake and started to communicate.

    My whole perspective of these beings and encounters changed in just one day, I felt a profound connection with them and it changed everything, I was no longer frightened of sleeping and was actually looking forward to seeing them again.

    The flashbacks started when I was 32 and some were of meeting another human on a craft, being presented with babies and small children. The most difficult thing were the emotions that were being invoked, some memories were disturbing and some really wonderful, it felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster ride. Only one memory was recurring but in time that subsided, most were of different encounters, stress and similar situations also seemed to invoke memories.

    I found accepting the flashbacks, memories and emotions, allowing myself time to recover and also sharing with someone who understands helped.

    There is cooperation between different beings and I have seen a few different types, but mostly Greys, 7ft tall beings with vertical pupils which I like and more evolved humans.

    Best wishes…

  27. tess says:

    hi stevek1950,thanks for replying,i do not speak about this with anyone so i am glad some one understand! to me the aliens looked like humans ,but taller and blond.My suspicion is that there were humans collaborating with them,i do not know when this was,cause flashbacks can come yrs after,but i was not a child,my body was that of a woman,i really don’t know if i have finally gone bonkers,for yrs i have been hearing some one calling my name and now speaking in a language i don’t understand.In the flashbacks i see myself on a very strange kind of table,and about 3 or 4 both humans and aliens on each side,i was embarrassed ,since i had no cloths on and i must have surprised them by sitting up and nearly jumped of the table but they quickly pushed me back again .The one on my left side was an alien,he had a white coat on,his hair was the color of straw and as i laid there shivering with fright he bend down and spoke to me,i do not know if he spoke in my language maltese or English but i understood him .He said he knew that i was frightened and it will be painful but it would soon be over,this kind of rectangular machine above me,they brought down rods and at the tip they had what looked like pins which they inserted in my body the pain was excruciating,that is the last thing i remember whether the pins have been left there or not i have no way of knowing,pls if it is not too much of a problem to you keep in touch,there is no one who i can talk to about all this,love tess.

  28. stevek1950a says:

    HI,,,WHAT U SPEAK OF,,(FLASHBACKS) is what i exp too,and my neighbor who was a nurse also. i conciously remember them comming for me at age 5. they always same 3 small aliens. blue uniforms ,,,heads like upside down triangls,,and they always take to ufo with grays,,tans and reptilians on the craft. i always get teachings and tests done and many samples taken. they made hybrid beings with me and other more human type and aliengray type.its always been hard for me to deal with regular life and people.

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