Trying to process something…

When I was very young, about 5 or so, I used to have the same dream every week or so. Every time, the same series of events happened…

-I’m in a room kind of dark but illuminated enough with a blue light for me to see the faces of what a grey is presumed to look like. Two of them.
-I panic, scream, fight, try to run. I would be grabbed by the ankles by what I could only describe as a tentacle.
-I would fall backward and see 3 angry faces of a different type of alien creature. They had wide faces and they looked very angry.
-I am almost home again, but outside of my home… running again, panicking, everything is total chaos… I know they are still there, but they are invisible, I am basically being herded but I don’t know to where.  I had no inclination of anywhere in the world being a safe zone, so it really was generally just chaos and terror.

Then I literally wake up in the morning. My pajama pants are not on me anymore… they are actually missing. I used to wake up feeling fine… a little confused about the missing pants thing, but fine.

One day I told my mother about the dreams. She told me when the invisible characters chase me around, I should dream a can of spray paint to reveal them.

I tried this, the dream happened all over again and when I encountered the invisible ones at the end, I imagined spray paint… I tried to spray them and nothing happened… I looked at the can and there were the words, AQUA NET.  Yes, I accidentally dreamed hairspray.

I never had the dream again, and that last time I had the dream, that alternate ending makes everything fail to make sense when I try to call it abduction…

but I find myself (at the age of 30) to be still troubled by it, to a degree. I have a phobia of the grey type alien, I can’t just look at a picture of a grey. My hair stands on end and my eardrums vibrate. I mostly just don’t think about it.

One day I told my friend about the dream because he’s really into the whole alien thing… he told me i had been abducted! Of course I was like, “Yeah right, dude.”

Then he told me a bunch of stuff, pointed out that greys don’t like water, and then pointed out to me that I choose to live on a boat. He explained that the unexplainable stuff that physically wrong with me could be

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