If you love the X-Files TV series as we do, you will be grief-stricken at the lack of a plot. You will wonder where series creator Chris Carter was at when the plotless movie script was conceived. No doubt his brain was sucked out by alien viruses. You will ask yourself why the movie does not live up to the pre-publicity hype that it would answer important questions from the TV series. However, the only question you will ask yourself, is, what are you doing watching such a boring movie?

Plan to take No-Doze so you can stay awake. Scenes move so slowly you will find yourself watching the time on your wristwatch and pinching yourself to see if you are still awake and wondering how much longer the boredom will last. The only humorous sequence was previewed by David Duchovny during a TV interview on the Rosie O'Donnell Show, but unfortunately, this cute scene with David's bare butt exposed was snipped from the final cut. Too bad. Seeing his butt would have been nice.

Other familiar characters from the TV series only make cameo appearances in the movie. How odd, since so many riveting TV episodes are based on the quality acting of our favorites, Mitch Pileggi (Skinner), William B. Davis (Cancer-Man), and John Neville. The spotlight was given to non-series guests, Martin Landau and Armin Mueller-Stahl who do not hold a candle to the superb cast of the TV series.

All in all, this movie was one of the worst we have ever seen. When it was over, our friends said we should have gone looking for a Mr. Bean children's movie instead, which would have made us laugh.