Trying to figure it all out…

Hello! Alien abduction has been my greatest fear for most of my life. I don’t know if it is BECAUSE of movies like Fire in the Sky or if they just awoke in me some kind of memory. Whatever the cause, I thought my fear was ridiculous and I paid little attention to it- especially since I have no conscious memory of contact. Then a few months ago I was introduced to Bashar- an alien hybrid who is chanelled through a man named Darryl Anka and it awakened in me the possibility that these abduction stories might be real. Now I find myself absolutely obsessed with ET phenomena.  The problem is that during the day I feel excited and inspired by it but at night I am terrified. I often awake around 4 am in a panic. My intuition tells me to follow this interest as far as I can but reading the experiences of abductees fills me with such fear that I wonder if I should drop the whole subject before I invite something unwanted into my life. Suggestions? Thank you and much love and support to you all.

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6 Responses to Trying to figure it all out…

  1. Krise says:

    Hi you two 🙂
    i wanted to reply to your discussion because i too have had an episode of alien obsession about 5 years ago when i started to look deeper into the topic. i still love the topic but i am not nearly as in fire about it as when starting out fresh and all the info flooded towards me.
    as consuming as this topic can be, it only contributes so much to our daily lives lol that it is absolutely a good idea to have other things to be intrested in. the gain from escaping into a virtual time eating game is not very great though 😉 but sure enjoyable for some time! especially if you need to take your thoughts of from something bothering for a while.

    i had believed in aliens before, i felt awe and curiosity, but no fear. i had a dream when i was about 5 years old that i always recalled as “the most important dream ever” eventhough i can only remember key images, but back then i was so sure i would never forget, but they had told me in that dream that i would forget all which i didn’t want to believe while in the dream but right after awakening i had to realize they’ve put screen images in my head and i could not remember exactly what i had seen only minutes before, but the images left are enough to know what was in the dream. i called them my friends and i longed to see them again and tried to in my dreams in 3 consecutive nights.
    i have had other experiences too but nothing frightening.
    the point about this is that i had a feeling of knowing them as friends before getting into alien research, so all kind of horrostories of abductions i knew nothing about before didn’t impress me so much in a negative way because i knew that there is more about it, or there must be uncountable different experiences. in fact i am feeling that exactly what you two say is of utmost importance: how open we are towards the things we do not understand determines how our experience with the unknown will turn out. i believe this in a wide spiritual sense, that we don’t even know ourselves well enough to know how open we will be if somethign unexpected happens. and if you feel overwhelmed it might really be a good idea and withdraw from the subject for a while, play games, travel, be creative and let settle whatever you have learned and experienced while “meditating” about it.

    i agree forcing to remember what happened is not the best way to go, even if you are in a better postion already than the people in the fourth kind who didnt even get accustomed to the thought of alien abductions before.
    maybe they make us forget things because they know we cant cope with it, maybe some individuals are in whichever way better prepared to deal with it and therefore remember more by themselves.
    i found the movie entertaining although there was nothing really in it i hadn’t heard about before.
    freaking out is probably the most natural reaction if you suddenly realize what really happened and of course i feel sorry for everyone who experienced it like that.
    to me it’s more intriguing to hear about what else people experience except or past the terror upon realizing the truth
    i loved to read jim sparks “the keepers” or whitley striebers “communion letters”
    maybe someday much later in your life you will want to do the regression …

    i like to think most e.t.’s probably exist on a much more complex perhaps multidimensional level that we just cannot grasp (yet) and some things they do with us might seem only scary because we cannot see outside of our box. i agree it is good training to widen our horizon by traveling, reading, looking into spiritual topics to widen our capacities for grasping.
    i’ve had a vivid dream before getting into research that i was lying on a pre surgery table and i knew my brain was going to be removed temporarily to be used for something/someone else, and in that dream i was totally ok with it! afterward i did think it was weird, but then again i can be very trusting and cooperative when it comes to serving a higher purpose or when being backed in a corner.
    as a teenager i was very drawn to spiritual topics and magic etc and really wanted some extrasensory experience. late at that same time i had an eating disorder that almost killed me, and the worst part about while in recovery were the extrasensory sensations i got every time when eating that scared me even more than eating normally again, and i have wished i hadnt asked for this kind of experience, i just felt i was not ready for it and the timing was just off. i know what it feels like. and i had no one to talk to about it, people thought i was on drugs or were avoidant elsewise.

    so yes, definitly try to back off a bit if you feel you are not ready for it, but keep on meditating about it, the spiritual aspects, perhaps try to envision what spiritually evolved loving aliens and meeting them could be like. cause what if our thoughts of today really are our reality of tomorrow … the law of attraction. and we can always change our course even if bad things have happened already … bottling up our fears cant be healthy.
    i absolutely agree always be careful what you wish for, i think there is a lot of power in focused wishes.

    i find it helps to understand that there is no guaranteed safety in any aspect of life, everything could suddenly change and it might be wise to make friends with this thought. yes this might sound freakish-spiritual but i believe facing your fears and replacing them with an understanding of how things are connected (even if we don’t see all the dots and connections) sure helps keeping the bad out and letting the good in 🙂

    but i am also curious if others would totally disagree with the law of attraction theory? do abduction experiences happen out of any context to social/emotional/psychological patterns in peoples and their families lives?

  2. jules says:

    I’m so glad you have found someone to help you with this! Travelling sounds like a great idea. And I’ve never played WOW but I hear it’s pretty life-consuming so it sounds perfect!

    I heard that movie was terrifying so I wiki’d it instead of watching it!! Turns out most of it was fictional: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fourth_Kind
    (Or maybe that’s what the government wants us to think…)
    But I still think it’s a good warning. I think you are totally right, there are a lot of paranormal but positive things to explore in the universe.

    Maybe I will focus on non-physical beings. It makes sense that anything existing in the physical world would only make contact if they wanted something from us (just look at how we treat the other beings on this planet). But maybe there are higher beings that we can communicate with who are so connected to source that they don’t need anything from us.

    I am still going to listen to Bashar though- this is his take on the situation:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF5ef6HeVz0

    Thank you SO much for your help- you have convinced me to move past this before I end up living in terror. I hope you will write if you have any more experiences or breakthroughs. You sound like a smart and strong woman and I’m sure you will get through this!!

  3. Lawliettte says:

    I wanted to make clear that my therapist said I didn’t need to watch the movie because my fascination with aliens had already ended but my friends fascination hadn’t. There’s no danger for you in watching the movie, only benefits I think! So after watching the movie they all decided to move on from aliens, and I was already moving on so it was just great that we were all finally in the same boat so to speak!

  4. Lawliettte says:

    Hey again! First I wanna say thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad I got a reply from you, now I know that you heard my experience!

    A week after my encounter happened I got in touch with one of the best therapists in the city. She specializes in PTSD and usually helps out army vets but after hearing what happened to me she took a special interest. I’ve since seen her about 3 times a week and quite honestly I think I would’ve gone insane by now if it wasn’t for her!!
    On my last visit she discussed Regression Therapy with me. She would not be performing it but a colleague of hers who is trained in it would. She thinks it would be really helpful for me to remember exactly what happened and then I can deal and move past it. But quite honestly i’m extremely hesitant. I woke up with MARKS all over my body. Its true they healed throughout the day but at one point they must’ve been fresh…I don’t wanna remember that happening! In this case I prefer the unknown. So i’m not quite sure how i’ll continue my therapy from here…im still not sleeping…

    I completely understand what you mean about the Law of Attraction! Thats how I felt! Now this is going to sound really insane but I want you to rent/download this movie called “The Fourth Kind” with Milla Jovovich. It was made in 2009. Its part acting and part real footage. Its about a very misfortunate psychiatrist named Abby Tyler. Personally I think her story is INCREDIBLE! Once you watch this movie I think it will give you the big push you need to focus on another subject!! My psychiatrist told me to give it to my friends to watch because one of the main stresses in my life a couple weeks ago was that I love my friends but they became even more alien obsessed after my incident! Where as I almost completely pulled away from everything alien. I admit I still lurk in forums at night trying to find some mental comfort but I do not ever wish to be taken again!!!
    So my psychiatrist told me not to watch the movie but I couldn’t help it! It was the trainwreck factor you know? So I watched it with my friends and after it was over my best friend turned to everyone and was like “Did you know the warcraft expansion is coming out? We should all buy that game and hang out online together!” LOL (what can I say we’re a group of nerdy college girls! We move on easily!)
    I realized that what I was searching for most and what I think all of my friends were searching for over the past year was not as deep as one might think…we all wanted something to bring us closer together as a group! Our belief in aliens tied us together and gave us something we could all talk about and get into!
    Of course the reason behind the fact that we all were easily drawn in and obsessed is probably much deeper and has to do with something along the lines of what you said “looking for a better understanding of the universe”…
    But over the past month I’ve come to realize that I am still very young and that there are many things in life that are unknown to me. So I’m thinking of traveling a bit come summer vacation. I think it would help. Seeing other cultures and unfamiliar countries I think would satisfy my curiosity!
    Perhaps once you find the reason behind your fascination you’ll be able to find something to replace it! I’m sorry I can’t help you with that 🙁

    In the meantime I’ve installed and have been playing this insanely fun online game called World of Warcraft with my friends. I think i’ve found something that consumes way more hours and is much more addicting then my alien fascination LOL When I can’t sleep at night I just play this game and sometimes my friends are on to so we “group up” together in game and go on adventures. Even tho we’re not hanging out as much together in real life we’re talking way more than we ever were before! I can’t say if this is healthier but I will say I think it’s much safer! I have never lost sleep thinking my game character will abduct me when I sleep!

    Anyway, I hope this letter helps! Please take my advice and watch The Fourth Kind if you haven’t done so yet….it will change how you see everything!

  5. jules says:

    Oh my gosh, that is a terrifying story!! I am so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. Thank you so much for sharing it because it sounds like you were exactly where I am- reading obsessively about it online but not fully believing it. Are you seeking any kind of therapy?

    I do believe in the Law of Attraction and that is precisely my fear- that the more I think about it the more likely it is to happen. But how do you not stare at a trainwreck, you know?

    Anyways, I will definitely take your words to heart and try to find something more positive to focus on. Do you ever wonder what it is that drew you to the subject? Were you looking for a better understanding of the universe or contact with more spiritual beings? I want to figure out exactly what it is that fascinates me about the subject so that I can replace it.

    Thanks for your help and I hope you are feeling a little better each day.

  6. Lawliettte says:

    Hey there!!! My story is a little bit similar to yours and normally I just browse these forums reading other peoples stories and hoping to find some support but after reading your letter I felt the need to reply:

    A year ago a couple of my close friends became hardcore obsessed with aliens. I personally love science fiction movies and i’ve always believed there was life outside our planet but I always thought abduction stories were just nightmares and that aliens wouldn’t want anything to do with us…but I was wrong….

    So back to my story (sorry im skipping around a bit, its late at night and I can never sleep anymore…)
    My friends became obsessed with aliens and they started renting all these UFO file movies and documentaries. At first I just watched them because I thought it was entertaining but the more I watched the more into it I became. I started borrowing books from my friends and hardcore researching different kinds of aliens. I’d stay up browsing the internet for hours just reading different stories of encounters. Even though I was fascinated there was still a bit of doubt in my mind and I thought all my research was just a guilty pleasure…some mindless fun…then about 1 month ago something very very strange happened….
    I had just finished hanging out with my alien obsessed friends and had gone to bed. I went to sleep really fast that night (which was strange because usually it takes me forever to sleep) At around 2am I woke up to my dog barking viciously at my window which is even weirder because he’s a really timid and shy chihuahua and actually rarely barks!! I look outside and I dont see anything so I shut the curtains and started to walk back to my bed but then suddenly a bright light filled my room it only lasted a second or so but the light was sooo strong it lit up my whole room! The next thing I knew I was lying in bed and it was the next morning………………I flew up in bed and let out a gasp and my chihuahua looked up from the floor where he was sleeping (he never sleeps on the floor, always beside me) and it was strange because he jumped up and greeted me as if he hadn’t seen me for a while!!!!!!!! I figured maybe I had a nightmare so I walked to the bathroom to take a shower and relax and try and forget and when I took off my nightgown I had huge red marks all over my stomach and legs as if I had cut myself and healed. I felt like the er doctors would think I was insane and it was a Sunday so I decided to wait until monday and go see my regular doctor and have him tell me what the hell was going on!! I showed all my friends and they freaked out and said I needed to take pictures! So we went to the store and bought a camera and when we got home late Sunday evening and I took off my pants and shirt all the markings were gone!!!!!!!!!!

    Needless to say im now paranoid and scared out of my mind that it’ll happen again!! I know im not crazy because all my friends saw the marks before they vanished! I believe in my heart of hearts that because I reached out so much the aliens took me that night and did who the hell knows what to me! My advise to you is that if nothing has happened to you so far then just get out of it while you can!!! I’ve been too terrified to sleep since the incident and have since developed a major case of insomnia. My fear is so great that even sleeping bills wont work on me, I just end up immobile on my couch watching really bad infomercials in the middle of the night. As much as I want to move past this it’s really hard. I live every day knowing that I was abducted but if I tell anyone besides my close friends they’ll think I’m crazy!!! Its SOOO frustrating!!! So please, take my advice and dont involve yourself further!!

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