Questioning

I’m fairly certain that I’ve never been abducted but I’m suspecting that I may be a hybrid. I LOOK physically normal but I have some reasons to feel that inwardly things are very different. I think a close exam during a physical might dispell some disbelief about the subject and to that end I’ve been sort of paranoid about discussing it. I “don’t relate” generally but I still feel the need for some kind of connection to others even if finding it may be difficult. I’ve never been abducted or seen or heard anything unusual in the recent sense but I do have memories of seeing someone or thing. This “emotionless gaze” might be a misinterpretation. I think there’s an intense curiosity involved, and a look that shows no judgement, that is unilaterally neutral. I’m more concerned that I could be “disappeared” and not by aliens. It’s a long story and I want to record my own thoughts before reading a book on the subject, I think that’s important. I’d state what I think these traits are in others but that would be presupposition. But I see it, I know this about myself.